The list does go on and on. At this point in recovery, I have to remind myself why living with an eating disorder is not worth it. Recovery has been hard and I’m definitely feeling chunky. I am also learning to live again. This is my choice. I am choosing recovery.
Anna: Free Spirited. 
[…] Is Life Really Better With ED? – Recovered and Free Sometimes, we trick ourselves into believing that the things our eating disorder “gives” us are worth the pain and suffering, and I know that I often need someone to just be real and pull my head out of the clouds. […]
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it does get easier and better. i do still have moments that i get scared of my new body, but then i’m reminded that im actually enjoying life and thinking about other things than food. you know, i see some people recover and they are still so thin. me? honestly, i’m in the healthy range but have got extras to love lol but even in my position today i still say- recovery IS worth it! and my body might not be perfect but i’m learning to love myself and accept myself the way i should have since childhood. long response, but thanks for the link love!! 🙂
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That confidence was addictive for me. Suddenly I had pride in what I looked like, I could wear what I wanted, I felt so much prettier. In reality, it was all just in my own head. But still, I morn it everyday, and I think that is what still is stopping me from making a full recovery. The last one on Your list of cons, guilt, really got me though. I don’t ever want that uncomfortable guilt back.
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I completely relate with what you’re saying. Overcoming that need for fake confidence is huge, but inside ourselves we know we aren’t confident of being our true selves. If anything we’re crippled by our lack of self acceptance. I hate the guilt. I still experience it sometimes, often enough, but I’m choosing to move forward because eating is NOT doing something wrong. ❤
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