ED mentalities are tricky little (actually, not-so little) monsters. If you struggle with an ED, oftentimes you either use a calorie counting app, or have nutrition facts memorized to the T, and can count your daily intake in your very own, busy head. In recovery, you usually get a meal plan. It might be strict, or it might… Read More Eating less than you think.
In one of my recent posts, I mentioned trying to get off anti-depressants. Let me trade identities with Mr.Frank for a second- I’m back on those suckers. Not because I was dying of depression, but because my body felt so exhausted! I jumped off of them way too quickly, and I had a horrible time trying… Read More Medication, boys, and real life.
I call my sister. “How’s your day?” she asks. She always knows there’s a reason I call, especially if it’s during my time at work. “It was good, until like the last two hours,” I reply. She asks why. “I just feel bad. I feel bad about eating,” I say. It was just yesterday that she… Read More The little crash.
Last summer I told myself, “I shall try recovery. I don’t think it will be worth it, but I’ll take a risk. If it won’t be worth it, I’ll just go back to Ana. If it will- I’ll let others know recovery is worth it.” So now that’s my job. Lately I haven’t been writing much.… Read More Yes, it will be worth it.
It’s pretty eye-opening to know that someone on a magazine cover could have facial parts from multiple people! I know media influenced my perception of beauty a lot. Last year, my sister told me, “Look around, what do you see? THIS is reality. THESE people are reality. What you see in the media is not real… Read More Blog post worthy- “The dangerous ways ads see women”
You lack appetite just a few days. You got sick and couldn’t stomach anything. You didn’t have time, needed to go grocery shopping, or got distracted. You default. Although I’m “recovered,” I’ve noticed a little trend in my mind. As soon as I feel nauseous or anything else and choose not to eat, I… Read More The Default.
(Ep.3: Ed Lies Debunked) Today’s lie: “Recovery won’t take long.” Everyone tells you recovery is going to take a while. More than a few weeks, more than a few months, and maybe more than a year. If you’re the conquistador I am, you’ve said (or at least thought): “I can do this! I’ll recover and in… Read More Recovery won’t take long. Ep.3
(Ep.2: Ed Lies Debunked) Today’s lie: “You can eat like that, but I can’t. When you’ve got some eating issues, you look at others and are forgiving of them. It’s easy to think, “Well, maybe you can eat like that, but I can’t. The diet you have, doesn’t make you huge. If I were to eat… Read More You can eat like that, but I can’t. Ep.2
Today’s lie: “I didn’t feel fat back then.” [I’ll be starting a new series of blog posts about certain lies ED likes for us to believe. In a sense, it will be like “Mythbusters!”] In recovery, or after, maybe even if you’ve never had an ED but were thinner before-it’s easy to think (especially after… Read More I didn’t feel fat back then. (Ep.1: Ed Lies Debunked)
Instead of seeing my regular therapist today, I met with a new one. This time it’s a lady. She had red eyes (or so it seemed) & was quick to speak. She imitated my body language to the T. She used reflective speaking (“So it seems you are saying…“) Lol. Sorry ladies & gents, I appreciate the effort,… Read More New Therapist: Friend or Foe