(Technically I still have 2 days left. But since Tuesday’s are #TransformationTuesday’s, I’m sharing this today.) One year ago, I made the conscious decision to expose a secret I was smothered by for nearly 4 years: Anorexia. Since then my life has radically changed. I cannot even explain how hard the journey of recovery has been-… Read More 1 YEAR ED-IVERSARY!
It’s weird when you just blend in. You’ve been standing out (or in your mind you have) for so long, it gave you validation. Then, you look around and see you’re no different really. At that point, you can do 1 of 2 things: A. Get back to that place that made you stand out… Read More Just like er’ryone else.
I’m a feeler. If you don’t care for feelings, that’s fine. Quite frankly, I can’t stop feeling. I feel it all. Somehow, them feelings also lead me to be discerning and passionate and wise. Eating Disorder Recovery: My #1 Definition: Feels like you’re walking blindly to a destination you’re only hoping exists. Faith is your… Read More What Recovery “Feels” Like
So weird. I got my 3rd consecutive period yesterday. 🙂 Yay! I’m weight restored. I feel strong. And… I cried and freaked out about eating this corn/bean/tortilla soup: I was in the middle of writing yesterday, when my sister (ever so kindly) came to my room at 7 pm with a bowl. She brought me… Read More The Saga of Sad Soup.
I want to make a list of things that have changed since July 5th, 2015. Today marks exactly 6 months from the day I talked to my doctor and was diagnosed with being underweight, having amenorrhea, vitamin deficiency, and an eating disorder. Most days have been hard, I’m not gonna lie. Quitting drugs, having my heart broken, etc.… Read More My 6-Month Miniversary
“You’re too sensitive,” I’ve heard it said. “Don’t take it personal, give it to God, you’re too serious,”the voices chimed. And I agreed with them for so long… I thought they were right. I figured the Normal Folk spoke truth to me and something was wrong: with me. As if. As if God makes mistakes… Read More You’re too sensitive.
The list does go on and on. At this point in recovery, I have to remind myself why living with an eating disorder is not worth it. Recovery has been hard and I’m definitely feeling chunky. I am also learning to live again. This is my choice. I am choosing recovery.
Time to expose some of that awkward stuff that sometimes can shape a future. Get ready: sadly, a common story. Ever since I was young, I always felt a need to be thinner. Out of my large family, I wan’t one that looked fly. Home was the scariest place for me. I loved school- it… Read More The awkward things we try to bury…
Why is denial so tempting? Why is it so hard to admit your wrong? Why is it the scariest thing in the world to pull out a skeleton from a closet? Is it really that skeletons are so scary, or could it be that you face the risk of rejection? Might people say that… Read More The Temptations of Mr.Denial
There’s something so freeing about disconnecting sometimes. Away from all the noise, be it the noise inside your mind. Forgetting your phone purposely, not using FB for days, and just focusing on what you’re doing right now, this very moment. One thing I’m trying to practice is mindfulness. As I write, I fully think about… Read More Yes or no.