My entire life I’ve been Christian. Even more so, I was a Christian who grew up in an overwhelmingly religious environment. The rules were: No saying “Oh my God” No secular music or Christian music that belonged to the rock or rap genre No hair dying, nail coloring, or makeup wearing No having short hair No… Read More The ONE time I got mad at God
In one of my recent posts, I mentioned trying to get off anti-depressants. Let me trade identities with Mr.Frank for a second- I’m back on those suckers. Not because I was dying of depression, but because my body felt so exhausted! I jumped off of them way too quickly, and I had a horrible time trying… Read More Medication, boys, and real life.
Let’s play a game of interpretation. Let me help you understand what an individual who struggles, or has struggled, with an eating disorder hears when you say the things you do: Eating disorders have a language of their own. (Let me just say I write these things only to help the communication between someone who… Read More 10 Triggering Comments an ED person hears:
It’s weird when you just blend in. You’ve been standing out (or in your mind you have) for so long, it gave you validation. Then, you look around and see you’re no different really. At that point, you can do 1 of 2 things: A. Get back to that place that made you stand out… Read More Just like er’ryone else.
It’s you who always tells me I’ve gone wrong. That weight gain is MY fault, but it’s YOURS. You’ve made me cry more tears in one year than I could have imagined. You always tell me I might as well die. You say there is no more hope for me now. You sneaked into my life, introduced yourself through… Read More Dear Ed,
I was looking forward to seeing one of my doctors today. Typically, we discuss how things have been going lately, how medication is affecting me, and where I’m at emotionally. She weighs me when I arrive (blind weigh ins), but we don’t actually talk about how much I weigh. My last two visits, I asked… Read More NO- the perfect word.
So weird. I got my 3rd consecutive period yesterday. 🙂 Yay! I’m weight restored. I feel strong. And… I cried and freaked out about eating this corn/bean/tortilla soup: I was in the middle of writing yesterday, when my sister (ever so kindly) came to my room at 7 pm with a bowl. She brought me… Read More The Saga of Sad Soup.
I really need help right now. Things are hard! Do you think you can please help me? If I insert a sentence here which specifically talks about what I need help with, I’m sure you would try to help. If I ask for encouragement because fighting an eating disorder is hard, you would respond, no… Read More Can you help me?
Why is denial so tempting? Why is it so hard to admit your wrong? Why is it the scariest thing in the world to pull out a skeleton from a closet? Is it really that skeletons are so scary, or could it be that you face the risk of rejection? Might people say that… Read More The Temptations of Mr.Denial
The first time I met a family who openly talked and joked about poop- I was shocked. The parents participated in it and I didn’t know how to act.. so, for the first few months I acted like what they were saying was gross. I couldn’t find the courage to laugh at fart jokes! I… Read More John, Loo, The White Throne