Death.

For my Issues in Diversity class, I had to come up with a “Changemaker” presentation. So wherever you have a bias, you participate in an event and interview the type of person you have a bias against. I chose to do the over-weight population. In the middle of my ED, I used a lot of my chill time to watch diet shows. It “motivated” ED and I thought that the last thing in the world I am willing to be is fat.

I’m far from that point now. I’m on my 10th mo. of recovery. I officially am done seeing a therapist and have my own say in my food choices. (Although I still have to constantly stay on guard.) As I’m putting together my presentation for class, I’m going through photos I’d like to use. I stumbled upon this quote that my co-worker wrote for me when I first decided to recover last year. I loved it as soon as soon as I read it and stuck it on my computer.

But as I read it now, it makes me a little sad. It perfectly describes the mindset of somebody struggling with an ED. Death does not seem pleasant to me at this point. This quote no longer applies to where I’m at. So let me rephrase it for those who choose to recover: “My body isn’t dying, and I’ll always be alive.” 

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