(Ep.3: Ed Lies Debunked)
Today’s lie: “Recovery won’t take long.”
Everyone tells you recovery is going to take a while. More than a few weeks, more than a few months, and maybe more than a year. If you’re the conquistador I am, you’ve said (or at least thought): “I can do this! I’ll recover and in half a year or so, I’ll be fine! Maybe others say it takes a while, but I am Macho-Me and I will do this like no other!”
Days go by. They drag. Months fly by. Actually, they too, drag. You look back and recognize how rough the journey has been and boy has it been taking a while. It feels as though it will never be over. But one day it will, I promise.
If you can believe in full recovery, you can have it. If your mindset is that it’s an illness you have to live with the rest of your life- I’m sorry. I chose to believe that full recovery is possible- the way that blind men put their faith in Jesus. He healed them not just partially, not just one eye, but completely- for the rest of their lives.
I could have sworn last summer I would be “recovered” by MAX half a year. But, recovery is much more than weight gain. (That’s probably the easiest thing to gain when recovering, it just jumps and holds onto your malnourished body!) Well 8 months have gone by and I consider myself recovered. Do I still get ED thoughts? Yes! Yet, as each day goes by, they come less and less often. Eating is not much of a choice anymore. I get hungry, I eat. Yes I am still very picky and there are foods I avoid, but I am not trying to lose weight and that’s some serious mental progress. I do still see a therapist weekly and am slowly tapering off my medication. I would say that for my “full recovery” it will take at least 365 days.
It’s sad to think that when I’ll be remembering my 23rd year of life, I’ll be remembering the harsh reality of Ed. It would be even sadder though, if I allowed any more of my youthful life to be taken from me. Recovery has been taking what feels like forever, but I can only move forward with my life and share my experience of it.
If recovery takes half a year, one, five, or very “long” – the choice to recover is still better than none!