I saw a man who lost his mind. Strung out on drugs, psychotic maybe. Or schizophrenia- not so mild. Perhaps he thought his name was Nebs (as Kris Vallotton refers to Nebuchadnezzar ). Perhaps he succumbed to an alternate glory and forgot who he truly was. A masterpiece. He’s young, in his early 30’s with the trademark of former strength. I saw him today. Half naked, sprawled on the sidewalk, gathering his blankets. He was cursing, or maybe just talking to the audience in his mind. He shouted at all the passing cars on the busy downtown streets. I thought I might hit him since he darted onto the busy road right next to me. Compassion overwhelmed me. It overwhelms me still and more and more each day as I realize how great we actually are. All of us. We are dope. And there’s no fear of pride in that. We had better recognize that God only makes the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the top of the line. That’s you & me mate. Demeaning ourselves is not humility- I am finally learning. Recognizing how freakin awesome we human beans are actually glorifies our Maker. Mr.Self-Love- Oh hey, here you are. I’m enjoying getting to know you. I like you; and as a result- Hesitant Folks around me are getting to know you.
I’ve begun therapy a few weeks ago & in a few points, here are some of the things I’ve learned:
- Thoughts turn into feelings. You think “I’m bad, I’m bad…” You will most definitely feel bad. In my case, my feelings lead me to actions. So to change negative actions to positive steps we start with thinking good thoughts.
- I believe all people are good. All are imperfect, but they are still good. That includes me in such a group. Therefore, if I judge myself as I judge others- I must be good too. With imperfections, but still good.
- Eating disorders are not the actual problem. In my sessions we don’t even discuss ED’s. I try, but the therapist just goes back to my way of thinking instead of what I thought was the problem. He reminds me that not everything is black & white.
P.S. I’m back on Instagram! & Rarely on Voxer.