I see her everywhere. In response to pain, she hurts herself. Sometimes she’s a single girl, at others she’s a married (still, somehow lonely) woman. Many times you see her leading her own children, the example of theirs. Why don’t I mention a Mr. Self-Infliction? My resilient life has mostly seen them women.
When you hurt, what do you do? If I may be so bold to ask (or, hopefully just make you pause to consider).
- Do you stop eating? “Too stressed,” you say. As if we aren’t all human; as if our needs are not the same. (I’m way too familiar with that line, no hiding for me now.)
- Do you run when you would really rather rest? “Well, actually, I envision myself running from my problems, it’s great relaxation, you could try it,” she likes to say. But, is it really- when as you jog, it’s as if demons are steps away?
- Do you lock your heart away from love and try so hard to throw the keys away? “I’ll keep busy instead! At least I’m productive and get to help others!” Work, school, whatever takes your loneliness away. And all the people say As If.
- Do you shop? Do you escape in a virtual realms? Do you watch film after film and play game after game? Do you smoke, do you drink, and do you drink your pain away? If they aren’t so bad in themselves, the moment they’re you’re crutch- that is when your identity is shred away.
And all because you hurt sometimes; because when you’re unfairly hurting, you hurt you too. And… it’s visible- plain to see, that the only person I’ve been hurting has really just been me.
And perhaps you can relate.