Let me hurry and defend myself to look good in your eyes. Right….

Almost 3 months later. Yes these are famous bathroom pics & in the second one I'm wearing a sweater but even I must admit I look more alive. I'm starting to feel quite free.
Almost 3 months later.
Yes these are famous bathroom pics & in the second one I’m wearing a sweater but even I must admit I look more alive. I’m starting to feel quite free.

My head is clearing bit by bit. I hear God  saying “You matter. YOU matter. Whatever I’m having you do is more important than you realize. Don’t brush off your value so easily. When others disregard you or treat you as if they’re dusting off their shoulders- don’t side with them, stand up instead.” I hear Him speak as I write, but so do you. So I’ll continue on in sharing how the week has been…

My doctor requested to see me a week earlier than my scheduled appointment. She was concerned for me, just as some of you have. However, according to her- I’m exactly where I should be- health wise, anyway. She encouraged me not to take up disordered eating behaviors as I am still waiting for a period. Retreating to those ways, although tempting sometimes they are, will only delay the arrival of my dot. I think she is quite happy with how my recovery is going!

I am also taking a break from Voxer & Instagram. Why? They weren’t serving as sources of encouragement. The Insta Folks (many, not all) weren’t genuine about recovery & seeing their behaviors only slowed my mental progress down. Voxer? This will get a little embarrassing (I do love being painfully honest on my blog though): Most of those folks were from a previous season of my life and I kept in touch with them because I was afraid of their judgments if I don’t “explain myself.” Now that I’ve confessed my ED struggle to the globe, I have been truer to myself than ever. Yet, I kept in touch with them Vox Folks because I wanted them to know- “No, I have not fallen. No, I haven’t walked away from God (that’s impossible btw since He’s always IN us).” I was afraid of some peep’s judgmental ideas. I’m loving my Daddy more than ever, but I don’t have to Facebook, Insta, Blog, etc. His name into everything just to prove my love. I don’t have to prove anything at all, in fact. My relationship with Him is private, intimate. Ooop, totally intimate. Yet, His image is reflected in me completely and in the sincerity of all things I do and say.

That’ll be all.

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